


Can Someone Please Kiss Fury Already!

by AwkwardBlueKitty



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-05
Updated: 2012-06-05
Packaged: 2017-11-06 21:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/423673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardBlueKitty/pseuds/AwkwardBlueKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Can someone please tell me what the fuck happened out there? Why is the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. unconscious with a…a pink ribbon tied around his damn neck like a bow?”<br/>This is where Nick Fury is Snow White and needs a kiss to wake up! Just who has enough balls to be Fury's 'prince'?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can Someone Please Kiss Fury Already!

**Author's Note:**

> lol I don't know. I was thinking about Snow White because of the movie and the idea of Fury being under a spell that can only be broken by a kiss has me cracking up!! I hope I did an okay job with this, I have never written any thing this long...so yeah.

“Can someone please tell me what the fuck happened out there? Why is the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. unconscious with a…a pink ribbon tied around his damn neck like a bow?”

“He’s actually sleeping, Hill” Tony says in that matter-of-fact tone of his. Looking at the unconscious man on the table, he taunts “Doesn’t he look adorable with that ribbon on him? I think Loki out did himself on this one, guys.” He idly plays with the pink bow that shines and shimmers under his hand which is probably due to the fact that it has magic infused into it.

“Wait, what? Loki was involved in this? I thought Thor said Loki was on our side now or at least willing to behave himself?” Hill slaps Tony’s hand away from her commander and pushes him away from the table which earns her a “Hey!” from Tony.

“Tony, please behave” Steve says in his best Captain America voice he can muster up at the moment. Turning to Hill, Steve continues “Loki is on our side. In fact, he helped us out today. If it wasn’t for his magic, the battle could have gone in a very different and wrong direction for us.”

“Okay. However that still doesn’t explain why Fury is like this.” Hill gestures to the ‘sleeping’ Fury on the examine table.

“Well…after helping us, Loki seemed kind of annoyed with us because he was in the middle of doing something when he sensed Thor was in danger. He had to stop what he was doing to come and help us” Steve pauses for a moment, before going on with the story, “So to make up for whatever it was that we disturbed him from doing, he decided to play a trick on us. Well, actually on Fury when he not so pleasantly told Loki he should have gotten his um, rear there sooner.”

“After Loki did whatever he did to Fury, he said that only a kiss would wake him up and the fucking pink bow will disappear until then. I’m guessing that’s what causing him to sleep and we tried taking it off but nope. Only a kiss will do it” Tony makes kissy noises to add more effect to the story.

Clint picks up where Tony left off. “He didn’t even give us time to question what the hell he was smoking before he quickly disappeared on us. Naturally Thor went after him, hoping to catch him and bring him back to undo this spell or whatever it’s called. I personally think he was reading some fairy tales before coming to help us and I’m guessing Sleeping Beauty was his favorite one out of all of them.”

“It could have been Snow White he was reading. You know the chick that needs a kiss from her one true love in order to break the evil spell that was cast on her by her awful stepmother. Either way, someone is screwed” Darcy says as she walks over to where Steve is standing and offers him a bottle of water.

“Hey, how come you’re only offering him a bottle of water and not the else of us?” questions a fake hurt Tony. He doesn’t care either way, he just wants to call her out on it.

Rolling her eyes at the older man, Darcy says “I gave one to Bruce as well, so there.”

Both Tony and Clint glance at Bruce who is currently drinking his bottle of water but stops when he notices their glares. “Um…”

Even though Darcy is pretty sure she’s the youngest one in the room, she sure knows how to act more mature then her ‘elders’ aka Tony and Clint. “Ignore them, Bruce, and drink your water if you’re thirsty.”

Clint, from somewhere in the background, says “Hey, I’m thirsty too!”

“Then I suggest you get yourself something to drink because I’m not a water girl whose job is to hand out water bottles to everybody.”

“What is your job again around here?” Tony questions as he ignores the nudge he receives from Steve on his side. He wasn’t picking on her or anything, he was just curious.

“She’s my assistant who helps me, Tony” Coulson answers, walking into the room with Natasha at his side. They both walk up to the table that Fury is currently occupying at the moment.

“So her getting me water doesn’t help you, Coulson?” Tony’s about to add something else to that statement before a bottle of water is pressed against his lips. Shifting his eyes a bit, Tony sees Steve who has a stern look on his face, holding his bottle to him. Sighing, Tony places his hand over Steve’s and tilts the bottle to allow the cold liquid to run down his throat. Thinking about it, he kinda was thirsty. 

“Hate to point out the obvious, but what are you guys going to do now? With Fury out of commission, who’s second in charge around here? Is it you, boss man?” Darcy looks at Coulson, kinda of hoping it’s him because that would be so cool to be the assistant of the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. Even if it’s just temporary, it’s still would be cool.

Coulson shakes his head and points to Hill, “She’s second in charge if anything were to happen to Fury.” Oh well, at least she still the assistant of one Agent Phil Coulson which is still pretty damn cool.

“You know what? This would have been a whole lot better if it was Steve who was hit with that spell. A little tongue action and those baby blue eyes would be opening up for me. But no, it was Fury who was hit with the spell. Actually, it’s his fault for pissing off Loki who we all know is still slightly unstable and for tagging along with us on this mission. I just wanted to put that out there.”

Everyone pretty much ignored Tony except for Clint who snorted. “Yeah right, Tony. You would have molested poor Steve before finally kissing him. I wouldn’t be surprise if Loki knew that and decided to spare Steve that.”

“Ha, ha, Clint, that is so fucking funny. At least I have a boyfriend to molest, who do you have?” Tony retorts.

Giving Tony a weird ‘what the hell’ look, Clint turns toward Steve “Dude, for your sake, I’m fucking glad you weren’t hit with that spell.”

“What are you talking about? Wouldn’t guys protect Steve from Tony’s molesting hands?” Darcy questions in shock.

Natasha, who for the most part had been quite, speaks up “Of course we would. I would hate for Steve to wake up to an unpleasant feeling.”

“Wow, you guys make me sound like some weird molester or something!”

Everyone including Steve gives Tony a _look_ that causes Tony to huff in annoyance. “Whatever. I’m dating Steve Rogers aka Captain America so you guys can go suck it.”

“For being the oldest one in the room, you sure are the most immature one here” Darcy has no problem calling Tony out.

Fake being hurt by her words, Tony says “Hey, I am not the oldest one here. It’s Steve who’s like ninety four years old!”

**********

An hour has pass and Fury is still a sleep. Thor and Loki are still nowhere to be found.

Bruce is trying his best to keep calm about the situation and hopes no one suggests he should kiss Fury to break the spell. Not that he has anything against Fury or anything like that. It’s just Fury isn’t his type…at all. So far, he’s still good and in the clear.

**********

No one still wants to kiss Fury, not even Hill who keeps saying she not authorized to become intimate with other coworkers that rank higher than you. Natasha, Clint, Coulson, and Darcy know that’s not true because they all work for S.H.I.E.L.D. But none of them want to call her out on it because for one thing, she’s currently the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.  

However that doesn’t stop Tony from asking her. “You sure you don’t want to kiss him, Hill? You never know, maybe three months from now you’ll be walking down the aisle in a white dress. Besides, Steve and I are dating each other and we’re both considered agents here.”

“Tony, if she doesn’t want to kiss Fury then you should respect that and leave her alone. She has enough on her plate at the moment without you adding to it.” Only Steve has the power to get Tony to behave. Thank god for Steve Rogers they all thought.

“Fine” was all Tony says.

*****************

Tony calls Pepper to see if she wants to take advantage of Fury, but she hangs up on him because she thinks Tony is just bored which is true. Five minutes later, Tony calls her again. “Hey, just letting you now the offer still stands. He’s still sleeping with that pink damn bow around his neck. You did get that picture I sent you, right? He’s just too adorable for words!” Tony is disappointed when he hears a ‘click’ on the other side for the second time.

Next to Tony, Steve silently texts Pepper a sorry text and tells her not to worry which Pepper is grateful for.

*****************

Since Darcy works for S.H.I.E.L.D. as Coulson’s assistant, she gets to hanging out and talk to Steve and Bruce. “If you guys are hungry or something, I can go get something. I don’t mind.”

“I love how she only offers to them” Clint tells Tony who agrees.

“Cause they’re my favorites!” Darcy has no shame answering that which causes Tony and Clint to feel offended by that notion.

“What? Why not me aka Hawkeye? I’m one badass fucker right here!” Clint cries out. It’s not like he cares or anything but when a hot chick doesn’t pick you has one of her favorites…yeah.   

“You know, picking them as my favorites probably got me this job” she says thoughtfully.

When they look at her is surprise and in disbelieve, she decides to elaborate “Coulson asked me who’s my favorite or favorites were so I told him Captain America, obviously, and the Hulk. I don’t know but Coulson seemed pretty pleased with my answer and after a few more questions, poof, I was hired. So yeah, quit being jelly because you might turn into a jellyfish!”

Clint and Tony roll their eyes at her while Steve looks slightly confused. “Um…I don’t really understand that reference…” Steve’s embarrass face makes Darcy want to hug him to her chest and suffocate him with her breast. And as tempting as it is to do that, she wouldn’t do that to Steve.

“You’re so cute Steve! Do you want some strawberry cupcakes? I baked some not too long ago” Darcy is delighted when she see Steve’s face break out into a ridiculously happy grin.  

 

Tony makes a mental note to buy like one million strawberry cupcakes later for his boyfriend.

******************

Clint offers to get some straws, cut them all in different lengths, and whoever gets the shortest one, has to kiss Fury. He thinks it’s a solid idea until Tony vehemently says “Steve is not kissing Fury!”

Since Clint is known to be a dick at times, he taunts Tony with “Why not? How can we be sure it’s not Steve who can awake up Fury with a kiss? We all know Steve is Fury’s favorite one.”

Steve has to hold Tony back from killing Clint while Darcy whacks Clint in the back of the head for suggesting poor Steve to kiss Fury. Clint asks “How the hell does that warrant a whack to the head? Huh?”

Darcy answers with “Because you’re basically telling Steve to cheat! Although it’s just a simple kiss to us, it isn’t for him. You know he’s devoted to Tony and only to Tony. You shouldn’t ask him to betray his boyfriend like it’s no big deal.”

Tony stops struggling and looks at Darcy in a whole new light. He’s glad that Steve has her on his side. When he glances at his boyfriend, he can see how Steve also appreciates and agrees with her. Steve’s an old fashion guy even kissing someone else is considered betrayal to him. Something Tony is glad for because Tony can’t stand the thought of Steve kissing someone other than him.

“So…I can scratch off the straw picking idea off?”

“Yes, Clint” is the only reply he got which was from Coulson who’s rubbing his forehead.

*************************

Thor finally shows up with Loki and with someone else who he introduces as his father, Odin. As everyone is introducing themselves to the much older god, they notice Odin making quick glances at Fury’s sleeping body. Once introduces are over, Loki looks around the room and says, “So none of your kisses were able to wake him up? Well, this is going to be interesting.”

“What do you mean interesting? You’re here now so break the damn spell already so Fury can get back to being the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.!” Hill was not in the mood for this. When she found out Loki was on board the helicarrier, she immediately came down here.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. The spell I placed him under can only be undone by a kiss” Loki explains all the while looking bored which caused some of the others to get annoyed.

When both Hill and Coulson draw their guns out and point them at Loki, both Thor and Odin move to stand in front of him. Loki is not surprised Thor is willing to defend him but he is surprised to see his…Odin stand in front of him.

To everyone’s shock and perhaps horror to some, Odin asks, “I’m aware of the situation my son has put you all in and I apologize for that. If I may be allowed, may I give it a try?”

When no one says or does anything, too busy trying to process what the hell was going on, Odin takes the opportunity to walk over to the table where Fury continues to sleep on.

Odin continues to look down on Fury before bending ever so slightly and placing his lips gently over the other man. Soft and sweet were the only words Odin could use to describe the other man’s lips. He smiles softly when he sees the pink ribbon fading away into nothingness and the beautiful man opening his eye.

“What the fucking hell is going on here?” Fury practically shouts. The last thing he remembers is seeing some fucking pink ribbon flowing in the air around him before everything turned dark on him. Then he awakes up he see some gorgeous man stand over him, looking down at him with a soft expression in his eye. Fury can’t help but feel a little tad swoon over the other man. But whoever he is can wait because Fury needs some damn answers and Loki’s ass to kick.

Still smiling, Odin introduces himself, “I am Odin and you are Fury, yes? It is a pleasure to meet you.”

“Well, the pleasure is all mine Odin. I’ve heard a lot about you from Thor but it’s nice to finally put a face to the great man Thor always speak highly of” Fury says with a flirtatious smile. No one dares to say anything as the older men continue eyeing each other with a lot of interest.

Everyone lives happily ever after! The End.


End file.
